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"To know your enemy, you must become your enemy... Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Sun Tzu
Unfortunately for some youth coaches, this saying might have more application to team parents than to the weekend's opponent. However, if parents are becoming a problem, this ancient Chinese battle strategy does provide solid advice for coaches seeking a remedy.
Coaches and parents do not have the same goals. Where parents focus on one child, coaches focus on the entire team. Most times, these differing viewpoints yield the same result and parents and coaches see little conflict. Occasionally though, these differing focuses cause two distinct interpretations of events. This is where Sun Tzu's advice comes into play.
For coaches to work with parents, they need to bring them close and to communicate. Coaches not only educate players, they also educate parents. Part of a youth coach's job is to help parents understand ways they can help their child and to help them understand things from a team perspective. Good communication between coaches and parents goes a long away to keep things in perspective and under control. Good communication won't make the viewpoints the same, but will make for a better understanding.
Habits developed at home often carry on to the playing field. If kids are polite at home, they are likely to be polite on the playing field and avoid confrontations with teammates and opponents. Over time, kids will learn to differentiate their behavior while playing sports from their behavior while at the dinner table. This will lead to more aggressive play and improved performance.
Aggressive play is a behavior that comes from a competitive spirit fed by practice and a better understanding of the sport. Parents can encourage both competitiveness and good manners. It may take time for kids to fully understand the differences. Until then, parents should be patient and be proud of the fact that they are getting the big things right.
In case parents get too focused on winning, a special report to the President from the Secretaries of Health and Human Services and Education helps put things in perspective:
"Our nation's young people are, in large measure, inactive, unfit, and increasingly overweight. In the long run, this physical inactivity threatens to reverse the decades-long progress we have made in reducing death from cardiovascular diseases and to devastate our national health care budget. In the short run, physical inactivity has contributed to an unprecedented epidemic of childhood obesity that is currently plaguing the United States. The percentage of young people who are overweight has doubled since 1980."
Youth sports have much to offer kids beyond the joys of winning a game. Though a child may lack certain skills in a particular sport, the fact that the child is playing and being physically active is something of which parents can always be proud.
One way for coaches to build these relationships is to introduce themselves to each other before a game and exchange business cards with contact information. This simple exchange of information lets coaches ask questions long after a game and learn how certain things demonstrated by a team were developed by the coach. It lets coaches communicate at their convenience away from the rush of after game distractions. While there may be certain coaches who view these tips as providing a proprietary advantage, the better ones will be glad to see some of their hard-learned techniques passed along.
In most leagues, introductions before a game are not a common practice. When first practiced, some coaches may find the opposing coach surprised. However, over time and as the benefits of improved communication become evident, it is a practice that can improve the game for everyone.
"Hockey has always been about much more than simply winning or losing. As a young player, my parents never pressured me to play, but rather encouraged me to participate so that I might learn lessons about hard work, dedication and leadership. Of course, first and foremost, the game was always fun, and that is what all children should be able to experience from the moment they first lace up their skates to play a game of hockey."
All teams and players occasionally find themselves having problems. For many players and teams, it can be difficult to judge exactly where to start. However, over time, the best coaches and players have learned one important lesson - when problems arise go back and work on the fundamentals of the sport.The basics of each sport will vary and though it may be more exciting to learn new skills, working on and mastering existing skills are the keys to most player and team success.
The emphasis on basics does not go away with age or skill level. Professional team drills are often the very same drills used by youth teams. Basic skills are the building blocks on which all other abilities are built. A breakdown in a basic skill means everything else suffers. When players want to be the best, they never stop practicing the basics.
Sports Esteem has put together three packages of certificates that can be used to recognize players and coaches.
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